I’m in a state of despair right now. I’m so tired, I’ve lost count of number of times I’ve cried and prayed, and had sleepness nights on this issue. I’m going to be as truthful and straight as possible.

I met this guy on fb, and then we met sometime last year. He was working in lag while I was serving in Enugu. I initially didn’t have any plans of dating him whatsoever but I liked him. Just wanted to have a fling. We eventually met and went down.

He asked me to be his woman, which I did because I loved him already. Things were going well. He registered me in a French school, sends me money. I wasn’t broke or hungry. Age difference was about 10 years so he took me serious.

One little problem that could have just been settled, escalated and since then, nothing has ever remained the same. I got jealous over the comments of one particular girl on his fb posts, called him out to it. Said she was just a friend. Didn’t believe him and made him angry and jealous with my own fb posts as well.
Issues started and he was angry. Things got so so bad and it was so hard settling. Insults were thrown and that made it worse. We never even saw each other during these times even up till now and it’s well past six months since that quarrel. I eventually found out nothing was going on between him and the babe sef.

Now the main gist. Early last month, he told me he wanted to spend Xmas with me. Well, I had mixed feelings.. Was happy and confused at the same time. In as much as I wanted us to see I didn’t want to see him for just sex.

I discussed this with my friend and told her I wasn’t going because it might just be for sex. Meanwhile I gave the guy serious hope about us seeing. I actually wanted to see him, but I wasn’t sure of the intention he had in mind. I don’t know how he got hold of the chat I had with my friend and I didn’t really say nice things about him in that chat. He showed it to me and I was shocked. My friend said it wasn’t her who sent it to him.

I tried defending myself but it was too late. I knew he was hurt badly, All he wanted was for me to just apologize but I didn’t want to, coz I was denying. He said so many unprintable things to me, funny enough I didn’t even take offense.

All this happened on the 28th of December. He told me he still loved me and he wanted to see me and it was never about sex. He wanted us to see if we could talk and get our relationship fixed. I felt terrible. Yesterday I poured out a heartfelt apology to him, he never replied me.. In fact he even blocked me. I don’t want to give up right now. I know how much prayer I have put in for us to be together again. It’s 6 months since that first quarrel and we haven’t even set eyes on each other. I know a lot of things I’ve stopped doing so that he knows I’ve really changed.

Right now I don’t know how else to convince him that I didn’t mean those things I typed. I’ve already told him I typed those things but I’m not proud of it. I’m really really sorry I hurt him so bad. Every time I pray I always include him.. Us. I’ve been waiting for a long time to see him again. Communication was going on very fine before he saw that chat. He kept telling me that I was going to regret what I did and I don’t know if he truly means that

What else can I do coz I’m frustrated

from Nairaland http://ift.tt/2CXbIne