Fanning the flames of romance

Massage is another great way to keep romance alive. You don’t need a massage table or fancy scented oils — you don’t have to be a masseur to bring a loving touch.

Kate Halim

Falling in love is easy. Basking in the euphoria of new love is exhilarating. Being in a new relationship is great and being a newly married couple is sweet.

READ ALSO: 7 mistakes newly married couples should avoid

But what some couples forget is that long-term relationships eventually and inevitably become boring if you remove romance from the equation. If you no longer do the things that endeared your partner to you because you are now married, romance will fizzle out of your relationship.

When these couples experience moments in which feelings of attraction, desire, or sexual excitement are not powerfully stimulating, they assume that the flame has gone out and that the future is bleak.

While it is impossible to prevent stale moments from occurring in marriages, couples can keep love alive and it requires infusing their marriage with more fun and pleasure.

The following men and women reveal how they fan the flame of romance in their marriages.

Bunmi: We don’t stop dating each other

Nigerian couples should know that dates aren’t exclusively for young lovers; they can be magic for couples who have been together for a while. Leaving the home provides a change of scenery and enlivens things for both partners. But staying home for a date can be fun, too, if you set a romantic tone.

My husband and I make dates a regular feature of our relationship. Our dates can take place on an occasional evening; they can last an entire day, or for a weekend.

Dominic: I don’t take my wife for granted

If you have been married for a long time, you might start taking your spouse for granted. This is why I don’t forget to tell my wife when she looks and smells nice. We have been married for eleven years and we still love each other. It has become the secret to making her smile and ready for sex anytime I want it.

When she does something I am proud of or something she has been trying to achieve for a while, I compliment her. My wife thrives on praise and positive feedback and I give her lots of compliments.

If I want more kisses, more sex and a wife who never stops loving, I acknowledge and compliment her all the time. I don’t take my wife for granted.

Chinenye: We create time to be with each other

I pity couples who claim that there’s not enough time to create loving moments with their partners. In life, there is always enough time, depending on how you choose to prioritize it. Unfortunately, many couples assign higher priority to their jobs, businesses, social activities and commitments other than their relationships.

It is necessarily because they don’t value their relationships, but because they inadvertently take their spouses for granted and create the false belief that they can afford to neglect their connection or put it on cruise control. They assume that since they are committed, their relationship is solid and doesn’t require the time, attention, and energy it did in the early, less secure, days.

My husband of over 10 years and I spend time together as often as we can. We create time to be with each other weekly. We go on date nights. We see recent movies together in the cinemas. We go on lunch dates when it is convenient. We don’t stop dating each other. It takes our time and efforts but our relationship is never boring.

Irene: We buy each other gifts

For me and my husband, buying gifts for each other is a means of keeping romance alive. In my experience, it works best if the gifts are very personal; they don’t need to be expensive, but they do need to show that you have been thinking about your spouse.

READ ALSO: Why I dumped law for gifting business

At one time, I bought hubby a book by his favourite author, delivered it to his office without his knowledge. It showed him that I know something about him. He was so happy about it that he gave me money for a massage that week.

One day, he delivered my favourite perfume at home while I was on leave. It wasn’t Valentine’s Day or our anniversary, but he did it just to put a smile on my face. That night, our bed suffered for it because we had many rounds of sex.

Loveth: Being in the tub together enhances the spirit of romance

It is delightful to spend an evening together, just you and your spouse in your own bath tub. It doesn’t cost much other than perfumed body washes and scented candles to set the mood for romance and hot sex afterwards.

Going into the tub with each other by candlelight enhances the spirit of romance. We take turns servicing each other. We bathe each other and wash each other’s bodies. I shave his face and he shaves my legs. That’s pure bliss for married couples.

Godwin: My wife and I dance from the floor to the bed

When I get home early from work, my wife and I dance closely. After dinner, we listen to music together and dance. Because we love our privacy, we dance with each other in our bedroom. One of the advantages of doing that include dancing naked and you know what follows dancing naked and looking at your woman’s body. Many times, my wife and I dance nude and end up in bed doing sexy things to each other’s bodies.

Samuel: We give each other massages

I love it whenever my wife massages my neck and shoulders after a long, hard day. It’s soothing and relaxing. It also makes me horny.

For me, massage is another great way to keep romance alive. You don’t need a massage table or fancy scented oils—and you don’t have to be a professionally-trained masseuse or masseur to bring a loving touch.

What matters is the thought behind it and pleasure we give to each other through massage. This is how we keep romance alive in our relationship. I have been married for 13 years now and I am still in love with my wife like the first time we started dating.

Gloria: We don’t take each other for granted

It is a mistake to take your spouse for granted and assume that your marriage doesn’t require care and attention. If neglect continues for too long, it can be a recipe for disaster. Couples should know that affairs don’t happen, they happen sometimes due to neglect.

After several years, it’s may be easy to take our spouse for granted. Couples might slide into just being roommates or business partners, or, if they are raising children, co-parents. If those roles come to define the relationship, the vital component of being lovers can get squeezed out. Romance will die in such a setting.

Patrick: We go on honeymoon every five years

I am a believer of renewing the feelings of honeymoons among couples. I have been married for 17 years now and my wife and I go on honeymoons every five years. We leave our children with their grandparents and focus on pleasing and loving each other alone for a minimum of two weeks.

It has become our marriage tradition. Honeymoons aren’t just for the newly married. Couples who have been married for a decade need to incorporate honeymoons into their relationship to keep the love that brought them together alive after many years.

READ ALSO: Perfect places to watch the sunrise in Bali while you honeymoon

The post Fanning the flames of romance appeared first on The Sun Nigeria.

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