Insecure men have no business dating smart women

Smart women make smart men think ahead and a mature man complements his woman without asking her to become who she’s not.

Amaka Nicholas

Some years ago, a young man asked me to be his girlfriend and I asked him for some time to think about it. He invited me to hang out with him and his friends and I obliged.

At the car park, he told me their women are not part of their conversations and once his friends are around, my concentration should be on my phone. He said I should just smile but never say a word during their discussions.

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For a second, I was wondering where I was actually led to like a sheep. I almost told him to go ahead without me. I hate to belong to any association where I’m gagged, but he aroused my curiosity. I just wanted to observe how his friends’ girlfriends limit themselves to their cell phones.

True to what he said, I observed that all the cute and gorgeously dressed ladies seated by their men were all on their phones while these men talked and laughed away. I left my phone in my bag, but I wasn’t part of their conversation either. I was just observing these humans called men and why they decide what is best for another human being. I left them in less than 30 minutes.

Few days later, I asked him what attracted him to me. He said I’m confident, smart, beautiful, outspoken and so on.

Then why should women act deaf and dumb around you and your friends? It was a question he didn’t really answer convincingly.

Dear men, every woman loves a smart man. We love our men holding it down. Women by nature actually look for and find comfort in men who can complement them in all spheres, be it intellectually, financially, and socially. Many women seek men they can look up to.

So why are men scared of smart women? Forget the excuse that smart women are arrogant, that they rub it in when they are better off materially or smarter and will always remind you of that fact at every given opportunity. The truth is that once a woman knows who she is and what she wants out of life, she has limited room for any insecure man.

Someone once said this ‘No Woman should know more than a Man if she wants to be loved.’ So, a woman should pretend to be dumb or less knowledgeable than her man, so she can be loved. What a terrible opinion. It’s all about low self-esteem; deal with your fears Mister.

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An insecure man will always read meanings into a smart woman’s actions and inaction. He interprets being smart as being arrogant. This is not to say that there are no smart women who are very arrogant, these women may be smart but not wise. They make their men feel like they have to constantly prove themselves, and are always busy over analyzing their weaknesses and mistakes. They also nag these men non-stop.

But real smart women are not really arrogant as perceived by some Nigerian men. Most Nigerian men want dumb women who cannot hold down an intelligent conversation because they are naive. They want women who are afraid to express themselves when they are doing wrong because they are financially dependent on them and do not want to be sent back home to their parents in the village.

The reason some grown men prefer timid women or teenagers as brides is because they don’t have to prove anything to them. But curiosity won’t allow these men go for their kind. They get entangled with smart women, then control and reduce them to the point they have zero drive for anything in life except what they want.

A mature man craves and perceives an intelligent and confident woman as an asset. They prefer women who can hold their own as partners not subordinate. These men go for women who can hold things down without fear and make the best judgment when their men are absent, not the one who will wait to consult her husband first before deciding if to rush a sick, dying child to the hospital.

A secure man will go for woman whose words of advice is full of wisdom, one he sees as strength to tap into rather than emasculating. Smart women make smart men think ahead and a mature man complements his woman without asking her to become who she’s not. Real men are not afraid of smart women

Men’s self-esteem varies in degrees, so a smart woman should find her level. If you are really smart and not an empty skull pretending to be one, you will understand, and analyze your situation well. Once he starts to display his insecurities while you are still dating, marrying him will spell doom if you are not ready to become who he wants you to be. Smart women make smart choices.

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Men, decide if you prefer an intelligent asset or a timid, beautiful underage liability as a partner. Good or bad, take a look at your choice of a partner, it says a lot about your self-esteem.

The post Insecure men have no business dating smart women appeared first on The Sun Nigeria.

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