Men, what are you bringing into marriage?

As a man who claims ladies are gold diggers these days, what are you bringing into a woman’s life in a relationship? What do you have to offer her?

Kate Halim

Whenever I hear some men talk about how there are no wife materials anymore, I just start laughing. If you ask these men what they mean, they go on and on about how ladies no longer want to suffer with men like their mothers did.

READ ALSO: Men single mothers should avoid

Some say that ladies these days are just after money and don’t know how to cook, clean, wash and manage N1000 for a pot of soup that will last for two weeks. Others claim that some ladies don’t know how to respect men anymore.

It is funny that young men who really have little or nothing to offer women when it comes to marriage are shouting themselves hoarse about ladies who refuse to put up with their bad behaviour and lack of home training.

As a young man of marriageable age, do you think you are a husband material? Do you have good manners? Were you raised with good values? What makes you so special that you think women should be falling over themselves just to marry you?

As a man who claims ladies are gold diggers these days, what are you bringing into a woman’s life in a relationship? What do you have to offer her? How will your presence in your life make her a better person? How do you see women generally?

Do you believe that women were created for men? Do you believe that women are nothing without men? Do you believe that women who refuse to lower their standards when it comes to relationships and marriage are stubborn? Do you believe that women should be seen and not heard?

Do you say that a woman’s education will end in the kitchen and you won’t allow your wife work or earn her own money? And you wonder why the high flying women you approach run away from you like you have leprosy. No sane woman will marry a man who thinks likes this except she is cool with being a housewife.

Which lady wants to toil day and night reading in school and later become useless to herself and her family that invested in her education because one man wants a modern day woman to live and behave like his great, grandmother?

I want to ask these young men or should I call them boys who go about threatening successful young ladies who know what they want in relationships with dying single what they have to offer women. You can’t continue complaining about ladies when there’s nothing to write home about regarding your life and character.

What are young men bringing into marriages these days? What are they doing to appear appealing and presentable to young ladies? Do they have good manners? Are they respectful? Will they pass the marriage test these ladies will put them through to see if they will make good husbands? I mean, what are men bringing to the table when it comes to marriages?

It is not only women that should be hounded with what men want in marriages. It is not  to only women who should be told be respectful so that they will see husband to marry. It is not only women who should be put to the almighty marriage test. Women have standards that young men should meet.

When I hear that money is the beauty of a man and good character is the beauty of a woman, I laugh at such age long ignorance. Who said making money is gender selective and who said that having good character should be for women? Are men not supposed to behave like human beings?

It is because of this erroneous mindset and societal conditioning that young men who are badly raised feel entitled to marrying well behaved ladies. Many women are suffering in bad marriages because their men believe they can behave anyhow because this society expects women to endure crap from badly raised boys because they married them.

What I find annoying is how ladies are expected to put up with disrespectful and insecure boys just because they have to get married. These boys who think they are God’s gift to women do almost nothing to improve their lives. They don’t put efforts into building their characters yet they feel entitled to well behaved women. What nonsense!

You see a single lady who is successful in her business and you tell her that the reason she’s not married at her age is because she’s always traveling abroad. But at your age, you haven’t even travelled to Ghana by road yet you think you have the right to advise a grown woman on how to live her life.

You even have the nerve to tell her that you will call her later to advise her on how to behave and live her life so that she can attract a husband. Is marrying an insecure man now an achievement? Have you asked yourself if she considers you a man not to talk of a husband?

Young men of these days play too much. They have no respect for women. They don’t respect boundaries. They lack decorum and possess over bloated egos. They think they have the right to tell women what to do, what to say, how to behave in public, how not to talk to a man while they have stinking characters. It is appalling.

It is sad that even though these young men were not taught how to respect women and treat them right, they have also refused to educate themselves. That’s tragic. Even if you are coming from a background where women are treated like doormats, you can do better by refusing to tow that line.

If at your age, you think you have the right to tell another adult how to live her life because she’s a woman, something is wrong somewhere. The foolishness that runs in your veins needs to be expunged. The fact that you are a man doesn’t make you superior to women.

If a man feels threatened by a successful young lady who travels abroad all the time and does her business without hassles, then he’s not the kind of man she needs in her life. Who needs an enemy of progress for a spouse anyway? What are you doing as a man to improve your own life?

Who even told you the lady in question wants to get married? Why do you sit in your average house living your average life and assume a woman wants to be equally yoked with a man like you who is reeking of low self esteem and insecurities?

What I find funny is how young men who can’t cook common eggs and noodles, wash their own clothes, make their own beds and clean their own apartments have the nerve to threaten young ladies who refuse to become their emergency cooks and cleaners, with getting old in their father’s houses because they claim they are not wife materials.

This nonsense should end in 2018. Women didn’t come to this world to cook, clean, get married, get pregnant and have babies for men whose bad behaviour they have to put up with for life because of marriage. Dear concerned average young man, besides your penis and bloated ego, what are you bringing into a marriage if a young lady decides she wants to marry you today?

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READ ALSO: Have you outgrown your partner?

RE: Have you outgrown your partner?

Kate, how do you do it? How do you think about salient issues that many people refuse to talk about? I know some couples who have nothing in common anymore yet they refuse to tell themselves the truth or face the fact that one has outgrown the other. They keep living in bitterness and resentment while pretending to be good marriage role models to young couples. Thank you for shedding light on this important issue.

-Oluwakemi, Lagos

Kate, why do you hate good marriages? Why are you bent on deceiving women who want to enjoy their marriages? Why do write trash about marriages all the time? Is it because no man wants to marry you at your old age? Who told you that couples outgrow each other? Marriage is not child’s play and that is what single ladies like you don’t understand. You make your marriage work against all odds and not giving excuses about outgrowing your spouse.

-Michael Ugwu, Abakaliki

While I don’t dispute the fact that someone can outgrow their spouse, you didn’t proffer solutions to couples facing this marital issue. What advice do you have for people who feel cheated in their marriages because they feel they are no longer on the same level with their spouses? How should couples resolve this challenge?

-Henry, Abuja

Kate, the man hater, you are taking this ministry of deceiving young women seriously. You think you are abroad where women turn men to houseboys with too much grammar. If you know what is good for you, stop writing against men. You should stop pouring out your frustration in your column. Maybe one man will consider you for marriage. You sound so angry and frustrated with life because you are not married.

-Obinna, Aba

I appreciate you for your weekly educative write-ups. You are very sound and intelligent. I love the fact you talk about real issues in your column. I have learnt a lot from you even though I am in my 50s. Thank you for writing, Kate. You are saving lives and building better relationships.

-Florence, Lagos

Any woman who wants to stay long in her husband’s house shouldn’t listen to Kate, the agent of darkness sent to destroy marriages. The only thing she knows is to badmouth men and castigate them. I don’t know why Sun Newspaper allows such pedestrian writer to continue deceiving people with her evil articles.

-Samuel, Owerri

The post Men, what are you bringing into marriage? appeared first on The Sun Nigeria.

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